


Hope

by flyingtacorage



Series: Blood on the water [2]
Category: Fandom RPF, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Also there's only one more part to this series :D, Chica - Freeform, M/M, Mark's still healing, Sean's trying to heal, Things are maybe looking up for once
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6771574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingtacorage/pseuds/flyingtacorage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He walked out on me. He gave up on me after he swore to me that when we got together that he would NEVER leave me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anger

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about the long hiatus between parts/chapters. I had a lot of people message me on tumblr and they thought that I shouldn't continue the series because of how poorly I had written it. And while stuff like that doesn't bother me a lot, I think it was just the sheer mass of people that were telling me the same thing. This chapter is not my best. I spent so long deleting things and rewriting things just so I could make sure that it was good enough for this series. I'm sorry if this is nothing but a disappointment to you all.

Sean’s body went rigid as his mind processed what he just heard. He swallowed thickly and thanked the woman on the phone. This was what he had been waiting to hear since he left the hospital this afternoon.

Mark is awake.

He is _alive_.

Sean grabbed his keys with shaking hands and made his way outside. It was quiet and peaceful in the small hallway, which Sean appreciated. He needed to gather his thoughts before he reached his car. Was Mark going to remember what happened? Didn’t he hear somewhere that sometimes people can forget what happened when a trauma like that happens? He shook his head at the thought. There was no way that he would be able to handle Mark not knowing what happened.

Once he reached his car, he opened the door and paused. The interior of his car smelled like Mark’s cologne. He breathed in deeply and sat in the driver’s seat. It was only a fifteen-minute drive from Mark’s old apartment to the hospital. He worried his lip between his teeth as he backed out of the parking lot and made his way to the hospital.

* * *

 

Sean stood outside of the sliding doors to the lobby. This was it. All he had to do was walk to the reception’s desk and be given permission to go see Mark. Fear and anger welled up in his stomach. He was afraid that Mark wouldn’t want to see him, that Mark would still be mad at him for the way that he acted the day that he came home early and saw Mark with the knife. Sean didn’t mean to act like that, it was an accident; an accident that he would feel guilty about for the rest of his life.

Confusion spread across his face as the anger started taking over. It takes a lot to make Sean _angry_. Sure, he can get irritated but that’s usually over and resolved relatively quickly. What he was feeling now was so fierce that it made his stomach churn. Why was he so angry?

_Because of all the shit he put me through. The fact that he could drive off and LEAVE me when I was begging for him to come back is fuel enough. He walked out on me. He gave up on me after he swore to me that when we got together that he would NEVER leave me. He wasn’t even comfortable opening up to me about the fact that he had been cutting himself while he and I were dating and before I even knew him. If he can’t even tell me about his past and the demons that he is fighting then how in the bloody hell can I expect to have a future wi-_

Sean stopped mid thought. When did he become so cruel? He shook his head and closed his eyes. There was no way that he really meant that, right? Yes, he was angry at Mark for everything that he did but he didn’t _hate_ Mark. He was fighting something that Sean couldn’t understand, something that Sean would never be capable of understanding.

He walked through the doors into the hospital lobby. The anger fueled thoughts still echoed in his head as he made his way to the front desk.

“May I help you?” The woman behind the counter flashed him a smile. Her voice was soft and cheerful, unlike the nurses he had spoken to before that.

“I need to see Mark Fischbach.” Sean’s voice was rough as he tried to keep himself composed.

She nodded and started thumbing through folders. After an infuriatingly long pause, she stood and gestured for him to follow her. Sean followed close on her heels, only pausing to catch his breath when they reached the 8th floor.

“We can go at a slower pace if you want.” She looked back at him and tilted her head slightly.

“No..No, I’m alright; this is just a lot longer walk than before.” He looked around the hallway they were standing in. Everything was decorated in various shades of white.

_White is such a depressing color.._

“We moved him to another room once he woke up. His room is at the end of the next hallway, its number 302.”

She walked towards Sean and wrapped her arm around his waist. A smile played across her lips as she began walking towards the end of the hall.

“ I can walk by myself, I’m alright.” He furrowed his brow and looked down at her. She was pretty, he could give her that. She had piercing green eyes and a soft round face that was framed by curly red hair.

_What was her intention though?_

Sean had women flirt with him all the time. Sometimes it’s the “subtle smiles and laughter” kind of flirting and other times its contact flirting, which he hated the most. He was kind of grateful for the support she offered, though; he hadn’t had time to fully rest in days so his muscles were sore and unforgiving.

Once they reached Mark’s room she turned a flashy smile up at him.

“Do you need any more help, _Sean_?”

He could see the blush creep up on her cheeks as she kept her arm around his waist. Sean pulled himself away from her and gave her a friendly smile.

“No, I think my boyfriend and I need some alone time. There’s far too much he and I need to discuss but thank you for the offer and your help.” He locked eyes with her as she began to process what he had said.

“Oh..oh I..” Her face flushed a deep scarlet as she turned and ran down the hall. He suppressed a giggle as he knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Mark’s voice was barely audible over the sound of running water.

Sean opened the door and looked around the room; Mark was nowhere to be found.

“I’ll be out in a minute, make yourself comfortable!”

He frowned and sat in the chair that was placed in the corner of the room. Mark was obviously feeling well enough to shower, that much was clear. Should he let Mark know that it was him that was waiting for him in his room? He didn’t want Mark to throw him out, though, which was what he was expecting to happen. Sean shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

_He can try to throw me out but he has to at least hear my apology first. I have to let him know that I didn’t mean what I said that day. He has to know that I’m sorry.._

His head snapped towards the bathroom door as it opened. Mark had a towel draped around his waist while he dried his hair with another.

“I know you said that I shouldn’t shower but I had to. I sweat like a maniac and I can’t stand lying in bed when I’m drenched in sweat.” Mark’s voice was muffled from the towel covering his face.

“H-hey you.”

Mark’s body froze. Sean got up from his chair and walked towards Mark timidly.

_You got this Sean; just make sure that he hears your apology before he kicks you out of his life._

Sean stopped a foot away from Mark; he didn’t want to get too close in case Mark wanted to hit him. He deserved it after everything but Sean wasn’t sure that he would be able to pick himself up off the ground if that happened.

“Mark…?”

Mark lifted his head and locked eyes with Sean. His brown eyes were wide and..

_Was he crying….?_

Sean was caught off guard as Mark slammed into him. He wrapped his arms around Mark as they tumbled to the ground. Why was Mark crying? He should be furious with Sean.

“S-Sean.. I di- I thou-“ Mark’s words faded into sobs as he buried his head in Sean’s shoulder. Sean wrapped his arms around Mark’s shaking figure and held him tightly.

“Shh, shh, I’m here. It’s alright Mark, I’m here.” He spoke softly into Mark’s ear in an attempt to calm the older man.

“I’m not going to leave. I'm not going to leave you, Mark, I promise.” Sean tightened his arms around Mark and buried his face in Mark's shoulder. They were tangled together on the hospital room floor crying into each other's shoulder. Sean sent up a silent prayer of thanks to whatever God had heard his prayers. He didn't believe in God but ever since this happened, Sean started praying every time he got a chance. He was just glad that someone listened and brought Mark back to him. 

He knew that there was so much that he and Mark needed to talk about but it could wait. Right now, he was just glad to have him back in his arms again. 

_I am never letting you go again, Mark. Ever._


	2. Promises

A knock at the door brought Sean back to the reality of the situation. He lifted his head from Marks' shoulder and wiped his face.

“Come in” Sean’s voice was raspy and uneven.

A middle-aged gentleman with blond hair entered the room and gazed upon the two of them with a quizzical look.

“Are you two alright? Do I need to call the nurses station and request assistance?” The doctor’s calm tenor voice echoed through the room.

Sean shook his head and pushed himself to his feet. How long had they been on the floor? He turned his gaze to Mark as the man got to his feet.

“I’ll be right back.” Mark’s voice was calm as he retreated to the bathroom. Sean nodded and turned his attention back to the doctor.

“Is he alright? When can he go home?” he crossed his arms across his chest as he awaited a reply.  

The doctor shifted his weight and looked down at the chart. “He can leave in a few days. I want to monitor his body signs and the wounds on his wrist to ensure that they’re healing correctly but,” He cleared his throat and turned his attention to Sean “You need to leave for the night. It’s already way past the hospital visiting hours. You can come back at 10:00 a.m.” he raised his eyebrow at Sean, awaiting a response.

Fear welled up inside of Sean’s stomach. He didn’t want to leave. He just got here and Mark just woke up.

 _He didn’t want to say goodbye again_.

Mark appeared in the doorway to the bathroom and leaned against it. He was dressed in a hospital gown and his hair was brushed down.

“Is there any way that he can stay for the night?” his voice was steady but his eyes were focused on Sean.

“No. You need your rest. He can come back in the morning.” The doctor turned his attention back towards Sean. “I’ll be waiting by the front desk. I need to you to fill out some paperwork and provide some insurance so we can file it.” With that, the doctor turned and exited the room.

Sean could feel tears start to form in his eyes. This wasn’t fair. Why would he get to see Mark if he was only going to be made to leave again? He turned and looked at Mark.

“Hey, hey, hey, Sean..” Mark walked towards him and wrapped his arms around Sean’s waist. “I’ll see you in the morning, alright? I’ll still be here and I’ll be patiently awaiting your return.” Mark nuzzled his neck affectionately.

“Do you promise you’ll still be alive when I come back in the morning?” Sean’s voice was soft and cold. He stared at Mark’s face with piercing blue eyes. Last time they were separated, Mark almost died. Sean didn’t think he could handle that again.

Mark flinched and let his arms fall back to his sides. “Yes, I promise.” Mark kept his eyes focused on the floor as he walked past Sean and took a seat on the hospital bed.

“I’ll come see you in the morning, alright? Get some rest until then.” Sean made his way to the door. He’d have to trust Mark’s word that he’d be alright until he returned, no matter how much his gut was screaming at him not to. He opened the door and hesitated. He really didn’t want to leave things this way. He looked back at Mark, who was curled up under the covers facing away from him. He frowned and whispered a small ‘I love you’ before exiting the room and closing the door.

Sean made his way towards the elevator and took it to the main lobby. He scanned the room and found the doctor standing behind the receptions desk. He approached him and cleared his throat.

“You said you had paperwork for me to fill out?” Sean kept his gaze locked on the man’s face.

“Yes, here,” he handed Sean a clipboard and a pen “Just fill this out and then you can go home and change out of your bloodstained clothes.”

Sean grabbed the clipboard and took a seat in the waiting room. He looked through the pages and sighed. All they wanted to know was information that Mark could have given them. He filled out the information that they wanted and signed the last page.

He stood and returned the clipboard to the receptionist’s desk and walked outside. The night air sent a chill up his spine. He started to feel the exhaustion and lack of sleep deep in his muscles. Sean jogged to his car and tossed one last look at the hospital before getting in his car and driving home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter wasn't as long as the others. I've been kind of struggling with things lately. Please feel free to follow my tumblr. I like to post cat pictures and story updates so if that's your kind of thing then I'm your kind of blog.
> 
> flyingtacorage.tumblr.com


	3. Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little "filler" chapter with Sean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *minor time skip of like 4 days. there was no point in trudging through writing 4 days of him eating, showering, sleeping, and keeping Mark company. There would've been no story progression there*
> 
> **Also, I am really sorry that this chapter is so short. I'm trying to get the motivation and purpose I had behind this story back. So thank you for your patience <3*

Sean rolled over in bed and opened his eyes. Sunlight was coming through the blinds and blanketing the room in a soft glow. Mark was scheduled to come home today. A smile spread across his face at the thought of having the warmth of his lover’s body back next to his every night. He threw back the duvet and pulled himself to a sitting position on the side of the bed. Things were going to be okay, right? Mark’s coming home, the new laptop he ordered as a surprise gift for Mark will be delivered today, and not to mention the fact that he found a potential ‘forever home’ for them. There’s no way in hell that things could go wrong, especially when everything is finally starting to look up.

_…Right?_

He needed to be at the hospital by noon so he stood and made his way towards the kitchen. His eyes glanced at the clock as he opened the fridge.

_11:45 a.m._

“Son of a-“ Sean turned and sprinted towards the living room. After grabbing his clothes off of the couch and quickly changed out of his pajamas, he grabbed his keys and walked towards the front door.

_This is the beginning of everything finally going right._

_They were going to be a family._

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been way too long since I've been writing and updating things.


	4. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever be able to live with him again without constant fear that the moment that I leave he won't try to kill himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooooooooooooooly shit it's been way too long with this. The motivation is back though so expect all of this to be getting pushed out more and more. I'm currently working with this shitty little laptop so if there are some grammar or editing mistakes in my works then please forgive me. My new computer should be here soon and that should hopefully get things rolling again.

The drive to the hospital was quiet. Usually, Sean listens to the radio while he drives but today, he couldn’t bring himself to turn it on. Was he happy that Mark was coming home today? Yes, but there’s just something in his gut telling him that it’s not going to be as easy as just going back to how they use to be.

Nothing was ever that easy anymore

.

Sean pulled into the parking lot and cut his car off. The feeling in his gut was still gnawing away at his mind. Having Mark at home is going to be amazing but why does he feel like driving away? His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he lowered his head.

“I-I just..” he squeezed his eyes shut as tears formed. “How the bloody hell am I supposed to bring him home and act like nothing is wrong?”

His body began to shake as the emotions he kept hidden began to pour through his body. For two weeks he’s been the strong one. He’s held Mark during his episodes and dealt with his anger. He kept Mark company at the hospital and made sure that he knew that he was loved and cared for but when has someone done that for him?

How long does he have to keep acting like the strong one?

Sean reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. There’s only one person that he could think of to talk to about all of this and he prayed she would answer. He dialed her number and put his phone to his ear.

“A leanbh!” the cheerful voice proclaimed. “How have you been? How’s Mark doing?”

Sean opened his mouth to respond but all he could do was sob. He has had to hold this back for so long that he didn’t know if he could stop.

“Sean, honey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“M-ma..” Sean forced back a sob and cleared his throat. “Ma, so much has happened and I didn’t know who else to turn to. I just.. I can’t keep it hidden within me anymore.”

“Just start from the beginning and tell me what happened, okay?” 

He nodded and licked his lips.

 “O-okay,” his voice softened as he continued, “I came home from work and found Mark standing in the kitchen holding a knife to his wrists. I, of course, freaked out and started yelling and … and..” He stopped and tried to gain control of his breathing. Going through all of these memories was harder than he thought it was going to be.

“What happened after the yelling Sean?” His mother’s voice was soft as she tried to urge him to continue.

  “He just stood there. I was so angry that he would do something like that to himself. He didn’t even yell back like he usually does when we fight. He just stood there frozen like a deer in headlights until I continued to talk. God, I never know when to shut up.. He just walked past me, grabbed his keys, and left.”

He could hear the gentle sound of his mother breathing in his ear as she waited for him to continue.

“When I realized what I had done and what he was doing I started crying. I felt so shitty for what I did and I chased after him begging him to stay. I wanted to apologize and try to fix it but he just left me. He didn’t even look back.”

His eyes looked around the parking lot as he waited for his mother to process what he said. Hell, he wouldn’t even blame her if she started yelling at him herself. Everything that happened that day was his fault. He made Mark feel so unwanted in this world that he tried to take his own life. And Sean just didn’t know if he would ever be able to forgive himself for that.

“Sean, I want you to listen to me and heed my words carefully, okay?”

He could feel his heart fall to his stomach. This was it. She was going to tell him that he was just a pathetic excuse for a son and that it’s all his fault that Mark has gotten so unhappy that the only way he thought he could be happy is to take his own life.

“None of this is your fault, Sean. None of it is Mark’s either.” She took a deep breath and continued. “What Mark is going through is something that no one but him can understand. There’s this dark, sinister thing that is trying to snuff the light out of him. It’s a never ending battle and from the sound of it, Mark was tired of fighting it. Your Aunt Charlotte went through the same thing. She was 15 when we found out about her wanting to end her life. She was a beautiful person Sean and she always made people smile no matter what she was going through.”

“What happened to Aunt Charlotte?”

“She died three days before my birthday. When she didn’t come down for dinner that night, your grandmother went upstairs to check on her and that’s when we found her. Your grandfather tried CPR on her but it was already too late. She was gone.  We buried her on my birthday. But Sean this is what I want you to take from this, okay? I blamed myself for years because of her death. I told myself that maybe if I had just gone up there to get her for dinner or been nicer to her that maybe she would still be here. And sometimes, I would get angry and go to her grave and just yell and scream at her until my voice became hoarse. I didn’t understand what would make her want to leave us like that. But as time went on, I began to understand that it was nothing me, my mother or father did to make her do that. It was something that we could never understand. Mark’s going through the same thing right now and it’s going to be rough baby, I know, but you need to be his support for a little longer. Try and listen more when he talks and if he needs alone time, let him have it. I know that you’re going to be anxious for a while about leaving him by himself but you need to trust him. Trust that there’s this small part of him that wants to live, that’s trying to fight back whatever dark force is trying to snuff that part out. This is going to be one of the hardest things that you do but it’s going to be the most rewarding. There may be times where you get frustrated and angry but that helps nothing honey. I know from experience on that one. He’ll open up to you one day, and he’s going to be at his most vulnerable at that point and it’s going to take every ounce of courage in his body to be able to tell you why he did what he did. You need to make sure that you’re ready to hear that, no matter how bad it may be. Do you think you can do that Sean?”

He bit his lip and nodded. What he’s going through right now is nothing compared to what Mark is, that he now understood.

“Ma?”

“Yes?”

“How do you know so much about all of this?”

“It comes with the old age, honey.”

Sean relaxed as his mother's laughter filled his ears. He wiped the tear tracks on his face and looked at himself in the rearview mirror. The red in his eyes was beginning to disappear and the tear tracks were almost invisible against his pale skin.

“Thank you, Ma. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I’m heading off to bed now; I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Call me if you need anything Sean. I mean it.”

“I will Ma. I love you. Sleep well.”

“I love you too. Night son.”

He ended the call and sat the phone on his lap. The feeling he had in his gut earlier had vanished and now he was just ready to see Mark.

He opened the car door and stood. The muscles in his legs and back strained against the movement and made him groan. He cast his eyes toward the lobby and smiled.

Things can only go up from here, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire chapter listening to Home by Damian McGinty on repeat @_@


	5. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me updating two days in a row :D

***Time Skip Of 4 Months***

 

Having Mark back at home has been easier, though neither of them has spoken much about the incident since they returned home. It wasn’t an easy transition having Mark back in the apartment. Some nights Sean found him sitting outside on the porch tracing his fingers over the scars on his wrists. He would have his eyes trained on the sky above and wouldn’t move an inch until he snapped out of whatever mindset or vision he was in.

 

Sean was glad that they hadn’t discussed it yet if he was to be completely honest. The wounds Mark left on his heart still ache and he hasn’t been able to process the feelings completely yet. Truth be told, he was avoiding it. That immense amount of pain was something that neither of them had time to handle right now. 

 

Though, for now, Mark had begun counseling sessions to try and work through his depression. Sean smiled over at Mark, who was perched beside him in the passenger seat, as he parked the car outside of the counselor’s office. 

 

“Do you want me to come in with you?”

 

Mark shook his head and fumbled with his jacket sleeve. He has been closed off and quiet about what went on between him and the counselor but deep down Sean understood the secrecy. Whenever he was ready to open up about it, Sean would be ready and waiting. 

 

“Alright, I’ll be back in an hour then. Be careful, okay? I love you.”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

Mark got out and shut the door behind him. A frown played across Sean’s face as he processed what Mark had said. It had been months since Mark had said that he loved him, and at first, Sean thought that maybe it was just the initial shock of coming back home after everything that had happened but when Mark continued to ignore it, Sean just continued to become more and more concerned.

 

But Sean just waved and pulled out of the parking lot. Mark would open up to him when he was ready, right? Things will go back to how they were before, right?

 

Sean focused his eyes on the road before him and worried his lip between his teeth. He had to have faith that the relationship between Mark and himself would go back to how it was. That they would be just as in love, if not more, when Mark was ready. 

Things like this just take time. 


	6. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 more chapters to go <3
> 
> Also, I'm tired af and this probably makes no sense or is terrible and I'm sorry. I'll fix it once I get some sleep.

“How about we go to out to dinner tonight?”

Sean looked over at Mark as the older man registered his words. A smile pulled at his lips as he smiled up at Sean, making the corner of his eyes crinkle up. For a moment Sean was breathless, it had been months since he had seen Mark smile like that.

“Only if you let me treat you to it as a date.”

Mark laid his book down on the arm of the couch and scooted closer to his boyfriend. The warm scent of cedarwood and amber filled Sean’s nose as Mark leant over and peppered kisses along his neck, his lips lingering long enough to send goosebumps up Sean’s spine.

“I..I..Can I ask something?”

Sean pulled away and turned to face Mark completely. It had been months since he and Mark had so much as kissed and yet here Mark was acting like nothing had ever happened. He watched the small flashes of hurt and confusion dance through Mark’s eyes as he turned his attention to Sean, motioning for him to continue.

“Why are you suddenly..How?”

“It’s complicated to explain, really.” Mark rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. “When I first came back here, I was overwhelmed. The house was destroyed and there were liquor bottles littering the coffee table. I could feel the pain that I put you through and I thought maybe if I distanced myself away from you enough that you would eventually break up with me.”

Sean pulled his lip between his teeth as Mark’s eyes fell to his hands. He was so used to seeing Mark hide everything away inside of himself that hearing him openly confess his feelings was such a relief. He nodded softly in hopes that it would encourage Mark to continue.

“Well, you never gave up on me. Ever. Some nights I would feel you get out of bed to go and slip into one of my hoodies. It was depressing seeing you in so much pain...But the counselling sessions began to help and I’m in a better mindset than I was all those months ago. Sean, I love you. More than anything in this world and I don’t think I could live my life without you.”

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

Mark shook his head and fumbled with his jacket sleeve. There was no way that he was going to open up to him about that. It wasn’t relevant anymore and honestly Mark always got nauseated when he started thinking about it.

He jumped when he felt Sean’s legs slide over his lap, giving Sean the leverage that he needed to straddle Mark’s lap without falling. The Irish man gently grabbed Mark’s face in his hands and focused his eyes on Mark’s own.

“Please tell me why. I have to know why I almost lost you..”

The desperation was thick in his voice as Mark sighed, wrapping his hands around Sean’s waist.

“I was ashamed of how I reacted. I thought that because I walked out on you when you caught me trying to cut my wrist that I wouldn’t be able to fix our relationship. I thought you didn’t love me anymore and a life without you just isn’t a life that I want to live.”

Mark could see the silent tears falling from Sean’s eyes even though the Irish man gave no other clue that he was crying. So he lifted his hand and gently brushed them away with his thumb. He didn’t mean to make him cry, and honestly, Mark felt terrible for it, but he wanted to know the truth and there was no way in hell that Mark was going to sugar coat that.

“I love you”

He pulled Sean closer and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Sean slid his fingers through Mark's hair, giving the strands a gentle tug as he rocked his hips forward, letting his erection grind against Mark's own. A deep moan escaped through Mark's lips, making goosebumps form along Sean's spine. He felt Mark's rough hands slide under his shirt and begin to explore the skin underneath.

“Mark..mmm...Mark wait..”

“Why? Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, no. But we have a date tonight, remember?”

Mark's face fell as he pulled his hands out from under Sean's shirt. He missed being intimate with Sean, and considering what had just happened, he had a feeling that Sean felt the same way. But if he wanted to wait about jumping back into things then Mark would understand that. Things were finally beginning to get normal for them again and Mark refused to mess it up by overstepping boundaries.

"But we could always go out and get something later if you want?"

"That's completely fine with me."

Sean pushed himself off of Mark's lap and stood, stretching his hand out towards Mark. He could feel his cheeks heat up as Mark accepted his hand and was led towards the bedroom.

In this one moment, Sean felt as though nothing bad could happen to him again. 


	7. Author's Note

Hi, so I wanted to post this little update to explain to you all the future of this series. So most of you may have noticed that I changed the tags of the story again. (I promise this is the last time).

Originally, I planned for this story to be sad and depressing. The original story was supposed to be really long and detailed and show you everything from Mark attempting suicide to them trying to fix things to eventually something happening and one of them dying horribly.

But I lost the motivation for that due to unforeseen circumstances.

So I decided to add in small time skips till I was ready to write another part. But as I continued trying to put the story out, I began to try and make it into something that it wasn’t. I wasn’t writing for my own enjoyment anymore and it became a chore for me.

Tonight, I came to the realisation that this story no longer needed to be sad. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy the light that the happiness in this story gave me. So I changed the tags and ultimately changed the ending.

I can write the original ending in all of its details if you all would like, but for now, it’s irrelevant.

_(Here's a summary, though)_

_Originally, Sean was supposed to lose his job, (which he was a classical music player for the local theatre) and go in search of a new one. He was going to be hired on as a pet walker at the local animal shelter where he bonds with a dog (chica_ bika _) and brings her home. He and Mark begin to heal more and eventually get engaged. With Chica as the ring bearer, they get married at a local botanical garden surrounded by family and friends. A few month tick by and Sean gets his Vet Tech degree and begins working nights at an animal hospital. He gets called in late at night for a surgery and tries to drive home sleepy (it’s dangerous and please just pull over and nap or call someone to come get you) and hits a deer (which I did recently. Well, it ran into me like a doofus.). He gets hospitalised from it and Mark reads Harry Potter to him every day. Sadly, Sean never recovers and Mark has to make the decision to take him off of life support. (I still have the fully detailed passage about his battle with that too). Sean’s funeral takes place on a warm Autumn afternoon and the ending scene is Mark and Chica leaning against each other while Mark finishes out the last chapter in ‘ Deathly Hallows’._

I always kill Sean in my stories and I don’t really understand why but hey, maybe that’ll change. But that’s the basic overview of how it was originally going to end. And while it may not be ending sadly now, there’s still trials and tribulations that they have to go over so expect more angst.

I just feel better in my heart ending this series out on a good note rather than a sad one. I am so sorry if I disappointed some of you by changing out how I wanted to end this story but it is something that I felt compelled to do.

I love you all and please keep fighting.


	8. Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have this kinda fluffy, happy chapter. Things are kinda going well for me. 
> 
> ^-^

Soft rays of the morning sun filled the room as Mark rolled over and cracked his eyes open. The duvet was tangled around his legs and was draped across the sleeping figure next to him. A jolt fled through him as he started to remember the events that happened last night. Soft kisses, deep moans, and the feeling of fingers tangled in his hair pulsed through his mind. Did he and Sean really have sex last night or was that just his imagination?

He pushed himself up off the bed carefully as to not disturb Sean and went to stand in front of the mirror. A low gasp escaped his lips as he took in his appearance. Mark’s hair was dishevelled and sticking up in various places, deep fingernail marks decorated his sides and his back; light bruises were delicately placed along his neck and chest; and to top it all off, a light was back in Mark’s eyes that he hadn’t seen in a long time. He trailed his fingers along one of the several nail marks on his sides and shivered.

“I didn’t mean to leave them that hard, I’m sorry.”

Mark spun around on his heel and smiled. Sean was sitting on the edge of the bed, almost in the same state that Mark was. His speckled grey hair was pushed away from his face and Mark could clearly see soft bruises along his neck as well.

“I don’t mind them, really. They don’t hurt. I didn’t hurt you last night, did I? Because I felt as though I may have gripped you too tight.”

“No,” Sean laughed “You didn’t hurt me at all baby. Do you wanna come back and cuddle for a while?”

Mark shook his head with a smile and grabbed his boxers from the floor, sliding them on as he made his way to the bedroom door. He saw Sean’s face fall as he searched for his clothes as well.

“I’m gonna go make you breakfast actually. So just relax and let me take care of you for a bit.”

He opened the door and made his way down the hall to the kitchen. Truth be told, Mark loved to cook. If there was a meal that needed to be made, he was usually in the kitchen already making it. But cooking for Sean was something that Mark looked forward to. Mostly because it made his heart soar whenever Sean complimented his cooking and eventually began to prefer it over his ma’s. So with a soft smile on his face, he quickly began to fix breakfast.

\--------------------------------------------------------

“Sean! Baby, breakfast is ready!” Mark’s voice echoed through the silent house. The soft creaks of the bed and shuffling gave Mark the confirmation that Sean was awake and heard his call. He placed eggs and bacon onto each plate and sat a large stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. Sean appeared in the doorway a few moments later yawning and stretching, wearing Mark’s t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

“It smells amazing in here” he took a seat just as Mark was placing glasses of orange juice on the table. Mark smiled in agreement and took the seat opposite him. They began to eat in silence except for the occasional ‘the weather is gonna be good today’ and ‘pass the syrup please’. Once their plates were cleared, Mark cleared his throat and focused his eyes on Sean.

“Can we talk about this, please?”

“About what?” Sean stretched back in his chair and popped his back/

“About what happened last night?

The room grew quiet as they both ran through the memories of the previous night. Neither of them wanted to admit it but they were both extremely happy that it happened, no matter the circumstances.

“Is there something that you want to talk about specifically?”

“Not really,” Mark started “but are you okay with what happened last night? I’m sorry for pinning you to the bed like that but when you moan my name, I just..”

He trailed off as his face began to turn a shade of red. Mark was usually really good at keeping his self-control whenever he and Sean decided to fool around in the bedroom, but last night was the first time they had ever gone all the way. It’s not that Mark didn’t want to, hell he craved it some days, but he was too ashamed of his scars to ever go all the way. And Mark used to act like he didn’t see the flicker of hurt that would flash in Sean’s eyes when Mark would suddenly pull away and leave the room. But last night, he was incapable of stopping. Sean was pulling at his hair in the right way and the feeling of his lips against his throat drove Mark up the wall.

“I loved it. Mark that was the best sex I’ve ever had. You are the most handsome, most gentle person I have ever met. But nothing that happened last night was wrong, it was perfect. I love you. You know that right?”

Mark stood up and motioned for Sean to do the same. Once Sean was completely out of his chair, Mark smiled slyly and scooped the latter up bridal style.

“What the hell?”

A smirk pulled at Mark’s lips as he began to make his way down the hall back to their bedroom. He pushed it open with his foot and walked over to the bed, plopping Sean down on it gently.

“Mark, what’s going on?”

“Round two”


End file.
